today while I was working 

As always lots of thoughts keep spinning around in my head , even I chant I just keep thinking about these thoughts 

Sometimes the thoughts in my head make me feel so scare , they keep telling me no I don’t deserve this.. No he should not treat me like no, what’s wrong with me that I just can’t get happiness

Then I will want to immediately writ e messages to the people , or say the things just came across my head

I really want to change my karma I want to transform it to medicine but I don’t know how

Then I remember the couragemebta from Gerald and Dominique 

Just trust , but what is trust , I think it’s surrender . I am dying to try to control things , because of fear yes I think it’s all because of fear

Coincidenly I read something f from Facebook about fear and fearless , then I decided ok I want to try to surrender . Then I turn on the podcast the first thing came into my eyes was ” surrender experiment ” 

I think when