Month: June 2015

Issues in our tissues

23. June 2015

Today I read an article about why we sometimes have some strong emotions arise when we practice yoga .It said we often have emotional scar tissue as well that can restrict our interpersonal and lifestyle ranges of movement. These stuck, contracted areas can be painful when worked into and we can only go so far in our yoga practice to really open up

I love hip openers postures very much, but some really deep hip openers like frog I sometimes experienced the feeling of anger , especially when I stay at the posture long

It is a very difficult to describe what exactly the feeling is, it made me want to scream, smash the glasses and really want to come out from the postures

I very often heard or read about the hips are said to be where we store emotion – often the kind we keep hidden down like anger, anxiety, sadness and frustration. Working on the deep tissues in hip opening asanas can release both physical and emotional tension.

Few days ago, I asked my teacher why very often when I practice Prasarita Padotanasana , there were a feeling of not willing and anger raising up?  Very often I really wanted to just come out from the pose , so I had to really control my self and told myself try to concentrate on the breath to continue. What he said is also very related to the article I read . He told me that one of the reasons for (repeated) practice is that we face our challenges again and again. Some poses might trigger emotions, as emotions tend to be stored in our bodies (which makes us stiff). when we release the tension, the emotion comes out again. we then should ideally breathe through it, feel it, welcome it and let it go. sometimes that might take days, weeks or months, until all is gone, but then we feel lighter and usually make a big shift in practice. eventually also laughing, crying and such could be triggered through practice. Welcome those emotional surges and try to not judge yourself, just welcome whatever is coming with a loving attitude. I don’t know yet why these postures triggered my emotion of anger, but I will from next time just feel it, breathe through it, be in the posture and surrender myself into the pose , maybe oneday I will know why or maybe not, but I believe it will make my inner side have some transformation.

On a psychological level how we approach hip openers (and other strong poses) can be a mirror for how we approach other challenges in our lives; hip openers require a softening and surrendering into the pose, staying present and staying with the breath. Just like Kino in one of her hip openers short video she also said surrender ourselves to the posture, let the gravity do the work, we just need to observe the feeling and accept it, feel the tightness or openness without any judgement nor to change it. This can be tough but ultimately worth it!
Yesterday I had a trail yoga teaching for a subsitute teacher, I prepared some hip openers for the begining and also the end, the end position is the double pigeon , which is we have to stack the shinbone parallel  on each other and have a triangle form . Which is for normally most of the people very difficult to just be in the pose, I know there will be a uncomfortable feeling arise. I tried to encourage them focus on the breath , not to fight the tightness, let the tentsion go. I dont know it was because I could not make them really relax due to my language problem or they are not used to just be in the pose, one of them didnt want to stay at the pose at all, I felt a bit sorry that I didnt do a good job to encourage her to try stay a bit longer…I truly hope I could bring them not just the asana but also the inner changes even just a tiny .

A new page of my yoga path

16. June 2015
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On May 14 ´-17  I attended an Ashtanga workshop hosted by the Ashtanga Yoga Dresden where I have been always wanted to take class but due to the financial reason hadnt have a chance . It was the best weekend since the begining of this year. It was not my first time to be in an Ashtanga class nor workshop. I 

Even I really enjoy practicing at home and I have been established a steady home practice , i dont need to be pushed to wake up early to do yoga, I still haven been always  yearn for a teacher and method who and which I want to follow, who / which can personally , clearly guide me both of physically and mentally growth and resolving , discussing my confusion, sharing the love , passion of life and yoga . I have wandered from different yoga studios , tried class with different teachers, maybe also part of the language problem, I have never felt any connection with any teachers here, even the yoga teacher training I am taking cant fullfill my need which I am pretty disappointed and it worries me as well.

The 4 days workshop opens a new page of my yoga journey, I can still feel my excitement and touched at the moment I am writing this text. And I totally love the teachers!!

We were a very small group , and mornings we practiced Mysore style, it was my first experience of this kind of practice. At the beginning I felt a bit not ease and not used to it as usually we just followed the teacher but with Mysore style , no one leads you, it’s really a challenge of concentration and not comparing haha. And everyone is so individual , so through this self leaded practice, teachers can help us to know our body better and go deeper to the pose which I didn’t think I would be able to do it ! For me it’s really a trust ( both ourselves and teachers ) and a  training for being responsible of our own body and practice as well being independent . 

Afternoon we learned some yoga anatomy which I am also very interested in it . The best part was the break down of each asana and adjustment , learning how to assist and adjust other people to get into the pose with different level. We were only like 6-7 people so we got highly attention from the teachers and each of us can really practiced practically!! What I learned from it in only these 4 days are much much much more than my 2-year-YTT which I’m truly not satisfied. 

What made this workshop different to me were I really felt the heart , careness and energy from the teachers.  This year the past months was very tough for me, my heart was totally broken , I doubted my personal value and personaility of trusting people, I blamed myself and took it as all my fault of these heartbroken experiences. The first morning   before the practice , teacher led us to do the concentration and intention setting, he wanted us to breathe from and into our heart ,   think of someone or something , then forgive that person , second forgive ourselves, I immediately got tear flowing down  my face. 

After the first day I knew that I stepped on a path that would alter my life and I felt like “coming home to myself”, I felt my heart pounded for it. I knew this is the direction of practice I want to toward .

I am truly appreciated the awesome teachers Tom and Dirk for hosting such amazing and warmhearted workshop !Thank you being a wonderful and important part of my yoga path!!  I really hope they can feel how tremendous my appreciation and love is !! I’ll keep practicing  !!  

Yoga Workshop with Kino in Berlin 2014-9-26

15. June 2015

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I am still overwhlemed from the workshop of kino,I have so much to say but they all mixed up, so it took me really a long time to write down all these and sorry it still in a chaos way
I have to admit even I take her monthly yoga challenge, even I know she is amazing and world famous even I very often look up her videos listen to her technic
but i was never a fan of her like many other yoga practitioners, I mean i never had special feeling about her.
thanks for Amy and Guido keep encouraging me so I decided to grab this chance
I am so glad that i did join this amazing workshop, what I gained of mind strength is much more than body and I totally touched by her soul
I still can’t believe how much luck and grace I have the chances to attened two amazing workshops within one month even without traveling to another counrry.
She is really so amazing , funny and so easy going, so small but full of strength physically and emotionally
It was an really amazing and whole new experience to led by kino with the ashtanga primary series.
I am not a ashtanga practitioner, i think less than 10 times inculding at home (and usually i didn’t finish it haha) and yoga studio
I am not familiar with the sequence at all, and some of the poses sometimes i just skip it when i practiced at home, hahaha<
But following her count I just simply do it without thinking too much, and she really can push us to over our limit which I thought it is our limit already. There were so many times, I really felt want to give up, i felt i can’t do it anymore and I can’t hold it anymore, she would said, don’t give up , don’t put it down , even it’s just one cm off the ground, i wanna see you are trying,
almost there, if your muscles are burning , just let them burn m just observe the burn.
I was so shocked and touched when she said , i know your thigns are buring, let them burn, just observe it, i also don’t like my thigns are burning when I practice everyday. I  was so stunned, even Kino has still goes through this everyday, even she still has to push herself to be stronger. Then she kept saying, only when we dont look at the pain, we will be stronger, you are stronger!

I dont know why, but her words broke me down and I could not stop my tears. After that I kinda finished the rest sequence with tears.

There were also some poses, I think it was my best tempt already, I know I could not go further, it is my limit already, but she just simply walked toward me, without any doubt and hesitation helping me to get into the pose without pain at all. When I was so afraid that I may hurt my friend when trying to help him to get into handstand press up, she looked at me without any hesitation said, you can do it!! Not saying, you can try..or something like that, she just said,” you can do it” I don’t know how to describe that feeling, but I was really really grateful, how can she give me such huge trust even when I didnt trust myself at all.

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There are much more in my heart more than I could express out. It was not my plan not what I’ve thought of it would happend one day at the begining i started to try yoga
it was definetely not my intention at all when i first began to do yoga, At first i came to yoga just for losing some weight haha
but I never like to do sport, sport this word has nothing to do with me since i was a child
I am the one just sat aside watching my classmates play all kinds of ball, I am the one who puked already only with 400m run, I am the one the tennies teacher asked me if I left my brain at the dorm….
I didn’t like be sweated at all, the only sport i don’t dislike is swimming, because i won’t sweat haha at least won’t feel it, but i also don’t do that often, once in a year maybe? haha
I like to do zumba or aerobic but i don’t like go to gym by myself…you know I had plenty of excuses .

I never thought of i would fall in love with it, don’t mention i would have such big passion about it, and it becomes the first thing i have perseverance and discipline for
I am interested in many things, but non of them i am really good at it, my mom made me have many chances to learned different talens: like ballet, keyboard, calligraphy, drawing… countless, non of them I had perseverance . I chose to run away when i met the challenge of all these talents learning. Even so I still kept searching what I really want to do, i still wished I could find my mission of my life, why I was born in this world for.Yoga helps me to understand more my belief , trust the journey of my life , it helps me to be grateful of being alive, able to breath and love myself . It makes me feel i have so many oppoturnities, so many possibilities, to widthen my limit .
It helps me not only build strength of my body which i had never thought one day i could have these strength and muscle. And just like Kino said , that we got stronger of our physical practice we also became emotionally stronger.
It helps me to be more aware of my body, to be able to help myself to calm my mind through deep breath.
It helps me to open a road of my life, to understand more and more the things I have been through, they all have reasons, to see more clear what I want and can do, what is the mission of my life.

I am so blessed now I know. Both of my belief  and yoga to complement one another to help me to understand more and more, be grateful more and more.
All i wanna share is don’t give up, don’t stop searching, don’t stop trying, doesn’t matter how old or how young we are, just begin something, anything, with the heart, a way will open for us.And when we really wish for something with a grateful heart, all the force of this universe will help us, just like Ali and Kino they came to Germany!!! Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo & Namaste

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And I am so lucky and grateful , look the warmhearted gifts from two of my IG yogi friends!!